Advertising vs. Reality

Got an interesting comment about how the local board boasts about how few "foreclosures" there are on the market, completely ignoring all the "bank owned" properties, that are also foreclosures... but apparently in the world of marketing and keywords, a rose by any other name is not a rose, at least not when it's inconvenient for you.

So, it made me think of some of the other euphemisms and obfuscations that sellers and agents like to trot out when being honesty may not be the best policy most profitable, and though we could have a little fun with it. Feel free to add your own, this is but a small sampling of what's out there!

As-in - Shithole, and quite probably a crime scene in the not so distant past

Assumable Mortgage - Flip gone wrong

Bank owned - Foreclosure

Cozy - Tiny, like square footage of a closet tiny. Synonyms: Quaint, Intimate, Cute, Modest

Charmer - Cramped and old... possibly with toilets in rooms other then bathrooms

Fixer upper - Shithole

Furnished - We don't want this crap, and can't even give it away, so now it's your problem

Handyman Special - See: Fixer Upper

Motivated seller - About to be foreclosed upon seller

Move-in ready - Vacant

Needs a little work - Needs a LOT of work

Needs a lot of work - Needs gasoline and a match

New Development - Better hope you enjoy the sound of hammers during the day, and drunk rig-pigs at night

Partially-obscured view - No view

Recently renovated - Don't look too close and ignore that smell

Retro - Old, and not in a good way

Secure building - Make sure your car insurance covers theft

Spacious - Anything with more then 500 sqft